Stuff Chio got for Christmas

Teeny-tiny mittens! Thanks Auntie Anne!

Glider from the Grandparents.

Mini sound system from Daddy.

First card that says "welcome to the family" and handmade hat from Aunt Kristen and Uncle Butch!

A little late...

Catching up on belly photos.  Enjoy my pics with mi panzoncita.

Ready for the Holiday Party:)

La Chio and I after our night shift.  She assisted me with two deliveries last night!  She was kicking wildly as we were cheering on the pushing moms.  I loved having her at work with me:)  I was so grateful that my pregnant body put up with all that work.  When I think about birth and get nervous about stretching my body to the limits I remember all the times in the past that I have thought I couldn't go on, but I did!

A corner turned?

So we are staring down the barrel of the third trimester.  I can definitely feel a difference.  My energy level and my appetite have both disappeared.  I am grumpy and complainy and intolerant of things that used to be a breeze.  I cry easily and fall asleep even easier.  Sharing my body is hard work.

On the bright side I have amazing support.  Not the least of which is Christian.  I truly did marry my best friend.  He has been more steady, unconditionally caring and supportive than I could have asked for.  One exercise this Sunday in our Bradley class was to thank our partners for being so involved.  We had to say three things we were grateful for in our partners.  I could have gone on and on.  It's a pretty good feeling a week before our third anniversary.

Another person I am grateful for is Tara.  Today I went to her house, complained endlessly about my heartburn and just held and fed her babies.  It felt great.  She just let me be and it was what I needed.  Cuddle time with babies and kitties, an understanding ear and Thai food.  A nice reprieve from work which seems like an endless, impossible checklist.

So, other than reaching out for help when I need it, what else can I do to take care of myself in these last few months?  Here are some ideas I have:
1) Eat more protein
2) Sleep when I can
3) Lovingly say NO to extra work/taking on others' problems.  I don't, at present, have the energy to give it the attention it deserves.  It takes love to say no.
4) Remember that I am loved and valuable because of who I am, not what I DO.
5) Drink more water
6) Use crying as a release.  I have read recently that crying is also good in labor.  I believe it!  Boy do I feel lighter after I've let it out, even if I don't know what "it" is.
7) Remember that this too shall pass. Though I know I'll be tired in the future, I have so much to look forward to!
8) Honor the work that my body is doing by not abusing it with late nights, junk food, and extra stress.
9) Talk to my baby.  Remember that this is all for a good reason.  Learning to take care of myself is essential to creating a healthy family.
10) Laugh!!

For those of you reading this that I am in contact with often, I would not mind gentle reminders of my own list as I count down the last months of my pregnancy.  It really does take a village.

Parenting Practice

Christian holding Heather's nephew, Fenton.  

Us changing Simone's diaper.  She was born at 34 weeks, so tiny!  Christian wasn't at all intimidated.  He is a natural.  

Aw...the good stuff..

Take-it-easy Sunday

Christian and I love having Sundays together.  Along with going to our childbirth classes we have the time to run little errands and cuddle in front of the TV and Christmas tree.  Today Christian insisted that we go to Destination Maternity.  I am in sore need of a warm coat that fits.  I've been looking online, but have yet to commit.  I was disappointed with the lack of selection I saw today and left back at square one.

We did some shopping for Christmas gifts, oggled the new football jerseys at the Nike store, and basically walked as much as my little pregnant body could handle (it's getting harder).  We also picked up some parenting books and a free (!!) baby monitor today that were being given away on the neighborhood list-serve.

We ordered in for dinner and Christian fell asleep on the couch watching a soccer game.  I love these days.  I know they will change once Chio comes.  I am relishing every day that I get to sleep in, and every moment that I am able to have my husband to myself.  I will miss these days, but am so excited to see how much she will add to our lives!

Welcome December!!

I had a wonderful day yesterday with my girls Stephanie, Michelle, and Loren.  These are three of the four lovely ladies who have volunteered to throw my baby shower.  We went to Bryant Park to take in the holidayness.  I was a little bummed that I couldn't ice skate, but was excited to share some Nutella Churros and browse the ornaments and jewelry. Afterwards, the girls were kind enough to indulge me in my craving for steak (it was really Chio's demand).  We had a ridiculously overpriced lunch at Wolfgang Pucks.  We lounged and laughed and really enjoyed ourselves.  At one point Loren called me "baby drunk" which I thought was appropriate.  My hand is on my belly most of the time I'm sitting.  Though I'm not always comfortable, I am always entertained by her movements (getting stronger every day) and fascinated by the thought of becoming a mom in a few short months.  I am pretty happy most of the time.  I love dreaming about her and what she'll become.  I loved sharing these special moments with three of the most intelligent, funny and kind women I know.

Loren took the picture so she's not in it :(

Why I chose a Midwife

Yesterday Christian and I had our first Childbirth Class.  It was the first of an 8-weeks series in The Bradley Method.  Though not a believer in "methods" of birthing, myself, I was very eager to attend a birthing class.  This was a way of bringing Christian into my world and giving him a part of the birthing experience he can master.  I had many fears of him feeling helpless/uninvolved/unwanted/confused during the birth of our daughter.  I felt that the Bradley Method would give him tools to help relax me and to keep him calm as well as learn about specific challenges faced by women who birth in US hospitals.  The class is taught by Gillian Foreman of Uptown Birth, a trained doula with her own interesting birth stories and experiences.  I was a bit nervous that the philosophies of the class and instructor would not be in line with my own, but I went in with an open mind.  For the most part I was very pleased with the first class. 

One of the best parts of the class was when Gillian had us go to different sides of the room depending on if we were seeing an OB or a Midwife.  To my surprise Christian and I were the only couple on the Midwife side.  When asked why we chose a midwife I was hesitant to "out myself".  I was pleasantly shocked when my amazing husband looked at me proudly and said "Because She's a Midwife and I know she is experienced and safe and cares.  I trust Midwives.".  I teared up in front of all of those strangers.  It was one of the proudest moments of my marriage to this day.  I feel extremely blessed to have a supportive husband who "gets it" and who believes in me and what I do.  Had I been forced to answer the same question myself I would have been less eloquent: "Because I'm low risk. Because it's a no-brainer. Because I don't want unnecessary intervention." But in a nutshell, it's because I trust Midwives too. 

In other news, the smoke smell in our apartment has definitely decreased.  HOORAY!  It's been about a week since we've smelled anything!  Our super and Landlord have also been very pro-active and are happy that we are staying in the building.  It's nice to have them on our side. 

Many people have been asking about our Thanksgiving.  Since we are both working too much it was kind of a non-event, a quick reprieve from the daily grind.  We both had to go back to work Friday and Sat.  We were lucky enough to briefly see our friend Heather Donaldson, a Midwife in Pennsylvania whom I've known since my Columbia days.  It was only a quick breakfast date but nice.

What's in a name?

Christian and I had a girl's name picked out almost immediately after we found out we were pregnant.  But, we were sure we were having a boy!  Anyway, when we found out we were having a girl we immediately started calling her by the name we picked out months prior.  Though we haven't seen her on the outside yet, we know it fits her perfectly.  We had expected to wait until after she was born to announce her name, but we've given up on that.  We love her name and are happy to share it.

Sara Rocio Malvaez

Sara: after my amazing, loving sister.  We hope she inherits her fun-loving attitude, her friendliness and openness, and her giggle:)  She's already a dancer like her aunt, hopefully without the self-injury!  Since it's confusing to have the same name as someone else in your family, she'll go by her middle name.

My Beautiful Sister

Sara, the original, totally owning it on the dance floor.  

Rocio (pronounced ro-SEE-yo, extra points if you can roll your RRRs): after Christian's mom.  Sadly, I haven't met her.  But she raised an amazing son. In Spanish it means "dew".  The nickname for Rocio is Chio.  We've been calling her Chio since we found out we were having a girl.

This is a little art project Christian and I did last night.  This is above where her Co-sleeper will be.  It gives off a nice, soft light for late-night feeding and diaper changing.  Also, we just think it looks cool.

So, we had quite a bit of discussion on Hawaiian names.  It seems somewhat odd to me that my daughter won't have a Hawaiian name.  Her family will most likely give her one unofficially.  Dew in Hawaiian is "hau". Not too pretty.  The Hawaiian equivalent of Sara is Kala.  I like that better.  We'll see.

Here are some songs about our daughter (or my mother-in-law?).  They basically talk about how amazingly beautiful she is.  Yeah, obviously!

Flamenco
Cumbia

Spacious apartment, great neighborhood, no fee, cheap rent, laundry and elevator, nanny included! (Yeah, right. I wish.)

Anyone who has spoken with me recently has heard my "We're MOVING!" rant (who am I kidding? I've been saying that since I landed in NYC!). The most recent rant was sparked by the second-hand cigarette smoke invading our bedroom over the past couple weeks.  Yuck!!  We've kept windows open, borrowed an air filter, complained to our super and landlord,  and have had many failed attempts at speaking with our neighbors about it.  We even found an apartment (huge!lovely!affordable!), applied, and were accepted only to find out that it would cost us thousands of dollars and more than a few headaches to break our iron-clad lease 6 months early.  Not good news for the growing family concerned about the infant's health.

My valiant husband made a fifth (!) attempt to speak with our inconsiderate upstairs neighbors early this morning.  Imagine our surprise when we found out that he was a really nice guy who only occasionally smokes outside his kitchen window.  What!?  The neighbors to each side of us are known to us for three years and have never been smokers.  The downstairs neighbor also denies smoking.  What's a non-smoking, low-earning family to do?

This has prompted numerous Google searches: sealing your windows, the best air filter/purifier for smokers, getting out of your NYC lease.  In the end we have decided to save our hard-earned money and not move, but have invested in a MEGA air filter/purifier with excellent reviews on multiple sites.  Please, cross your fingers for us.  I don't want to be seen in the Metro with the headline "Pregnant Midwife Goes Ape-Shit on Innocent Non-Smoking Neighbors. Loses Chance of Ever Having Good Credit, Nice Apartment Again".

Being a pregnant midwife

Early in my pregnancy a good friend told me "Don't be the Pregnant Midwife, just be Jenn: Pregnant".  I appreciated the sentiment behind her advice.  Basically she was telling me not to stress the idealistic view of pregnancy and birth that I had created by reading too much Ina May and watching too many Russian waterbirth videos.  She was telling me just to experience it on my own and be open to what it teaches me.  That being said, it is a very unique situation to be pregnant in my profession.  As another friend once put it, it's like the ultimate internship.

The Cons of being a pregnant midwife:
1) Increased sense of smell/gag reflex.  Let's face it, my job has a lot of fluids and other things that would induce vomiting in the average Jane.  To a certain point I had become desensitized.  However, pregnancy just intensifies every scent.  Ew.

2) Knowing too much.  I've seen A LOT in my brief time in the Bronx.  Things that I wasn't warned about in school.  Things that I can't even explain to a lay person.  Things that just shouldn't be in your head during the "happiest time of your life".  It did bring me quite a bit of anxiety in the beginning of pregnancy, and I imagine will give me pause in my later months.  The plus side of this is learning how to deal with anxieties as they come up, a practice in living in the moment.

3) Lack of sleep/Pregnancy brain makes me ineffective at work.  There are certain nights that I'm up a hundred times for no reason.  There are also days that, no matter how much sleep I've had, I just don't seem to be able to concentrate.  This makes me slow at work and I often feel as though I'm missing details.  Not a good combination at my job.  Luckily, I have a great and understanding team.  More on that later.

4) Getting light headed/dizzy when pushing with a patient.  More than once I've had to sit during second stage and ask a resident or attending to stand by.  My worst fear is falling face-first into someone's vagina because I fainted during pushing. This has taught me a lot though.  I can ask for help.  I need to breathe while the patient is pushing.  I need to wait to put on the gown until the head is crowning, otherwise I get WAY too hot.  Also, probably not a good idea to put my face at perineum level if I'm not feeling well.  I'll just keep the bed unbroken, thanks.

5) Hunger kills.  I cannot work long clinic or floor shifts without a bevy of snacks at the ready or I become a grouchy, incoherent fool.  When the little girl is hungry I cannot put anyone else's needs ahead of hers, I MUST EAT.  This is not a con so much, just an inconvenience.  Gone are the days when I would work straight through my morning panel and into the afternoon and finish by five with all of my charts and billing done. Now I must eat breakfast upon arrival at the hospital (even though I ate at home), snack by 11, meal at 1, another snack at 3 and munch on something while I'm finishing up notes.  Makes for a longer, slower day.

6) Assumption that it's easy for me just because I know a lot.  Wrong.  Pregnancy is still really, really weird to go through.  Christian and I have had to have more than one discussion on why we should go to childbirth classes.  Being a midwife doesn't make me magical.  I still have to push this baby out like the rest of my patients and that is not something I have done before. That being said, I realize that most of it is instinct.  Now if I could only turn off my brain...

The Pros of being a pregnant midwife:
1) Knowledge of easy relief for common discomforts.  Kegels, my friend, are vital.  I know that the pain on my side is common and not dangerous. I know that the having to pee every five minutes will return in the third trimester.  I know which medications I can safely take without having to wait for my next appointment.  This makes me feel more at-ease than I imagine I would be had I not studied pregnancy.

2) Amazing coworkers!!  They are kind, sympathetic and experienced.  Many are wise mothers themselves.  I'm rarely allowed to lift things or stand too long at work.  They are ridiculously excited about my expanding belly.  They make me laugh. They make helpful suggestions.  Nothing I say to them about my pregnancy symptoms or anxieties is weird.  They ease my heavy load.  I am eternally grateful to them.

3) Access to dopplers/sonos.  Now, I don't make use of this one often, but I'll be honest: when especially concerned about Chio's well-being it is nice to be able to hear her heartbeat.  It is less necessary now that I feel her moving, but in the first trimester I will admit to taking a listen.  It was probably partly just to reinforce that I was really pregnant, not just psychosematically so.  Christian and I made a pact that I would not find out the gender without him, but had I wanted to, I know my friends in sono would have hooked me up.  I know more than one pregnant lady that would kill for access to this convenience.  However, being a midwife also makes me cautious about overuse of sonos, so I didn't go nuts.

4) The Patients!!  They are thrilled to share my pregnancy with me.  They love hearing that I have the same symptoms they do.  They all wanna know where I'm delivering, what the gender is, is my husband excited, how long I will work.  They rub my belly and squeal like the rest of my friends.  They tell me details and ask me intimate questions that they probably wouldn't ask if they didn't see me as "one of them".  I finally have street cred!  In addition, they are teaching me soooo much.

5) Freebies: from floradix to bio oil. I went to the ACNM conference at the perfect time!

6) Easy access to the latest research/journals and multiple medical opinions.   I work with a lot of really intelligent people.  Whoa.

So, there's a little glimpse into all the things that have been on my mind lately.  I have to go eat now.

Oh My...

This is La Chio and I getting ready for work this morning.  Feeling ESPECIALLY big.  Wonder how the next 16 weeks are gonna go...

On Tuesday I met with the Midwife Jocelyn.  She complimented my belly which was really nice:)  We talked about so many helpful things like stress management, birthing classes, nutrition, the Holidays, partner relationships and the postpartum period.  And, of course, it's nice to talk with someone at length about the particular stresses of my job. Yes, I like my Midwives a lot and I am really beginning to understand what actual holistic care feels like.

I'm really anxious to find out the results of my glucose testing.  I don't know why I think I'll have a problem, it's just that gestational diabetes is such a DRAG!  Now I'm off to the High Risk Clinic to talk to some Gestational Diabetics!  I hope I can bring the compassion to our visit that my Midwives bring to mine.

I would have preferred jelly beans.

Quest: you and me. Let's do this.
And if anyone out there has ever wondered what NOT to have on an empty stomach:75 g of glucose with orange flavor and dye would be my first answer.
I always feel bad for my patients when taking this test, but the quantity of super sweet liquid they are asked to drink is much less, and they don't have to fast prior. I will continue to lovingly tell them to suck.it.up.

Still grateful

Happy to report that Chris is back to work today with lights. A full three days ahead of schedule and no flooding. In addition, our friends' twins are coming home tomorrow. So excited that all of our loved ones will be out of the hospital for the first time in months! Well, except the ones that work there...

Safe, and grateful

The calm before the storm: Christian and I went for a walk Sunday am.

I tried to go to work Monday, but clinic was closed down at noon.  I saw one very motivated and lovely patient that happened to live right by the hospital.  I sent her home to safety in a hurry.  My friend Abbe got me home safely and I nestled into a 3 hour nap.  When I awoke Christian had made his amazing soup and rented movies.  

We, of course, fell asleep early that night.  We were completely prepared with flashlights, candles, extra water, etc.  Imagine our surprise to wake up and find we still had power.  As the day unfolded and we realized how lucky we were.  We just sat at home for the day in shock.  We tried to contact loved ones far and let them know we were safe.  We tried to contact loved ones in the more dangerous areas and make sure they were ok.  

One of the most exciting things about staying home was getting the chance to Skype with Auntie Amy.  We are so grateful SHE is healthy and safely at home.  

One thing is for sure:  After three days without going to work, we are SURE that Christian is not cut out for stay-at-home parenting.  He's plenty caring and thoughtful, but not working has him climbing the walls.  It's not a tragedy, compared to what everyone else is going through, but his business is completely without power for an unknown length of time.  We're still unsure if there was flooding.  Not to mention lost business...it's a little unnerving for the poor guy.  We'll just see what the future has to hold.  

On our one outing today we saw our local subway station being pumped out.  Hopefully the trains will be functioning shortly.  Until then it's cabs to work.  I'm really feeling for my coworkers without cars that live far away.  

More from Lumena

Many thanks to Annemarie and Tom at Lumena.  We had so much fun!

Waiting for our surprise.

He was so nervous!

I'm relieved he's smiling and not disappointed that it's not a boy.

Of course I cried. 

Half-way point!

Where did this belly come from?

I snagged one good-looking man!

Daddy made the frame:)

Isn't She Lovely....

Great Legs!!  I need to find a little soccer ball sticker.  She'll be a salsa dancer for sure.

Spoiler Alert!

Four days was about all the will power we had.  So we took that little envelope down to Nolita, passed it to the baker and awaited our surprise.  

Special thanks to Annemarie and Tom at Lumena for capturing our fun.  

Also, if you haven't been to The Little Cupcake Bakeshop on Prince, you really should go.  The staff was so nice and the Strawberry frosting is out of this world!  

Now we are off to pick out frilly dresses and pink soccer jerseys...

We don't say the "F" word

Well, I got struck with a nasty throat/mucous/sleepy bug even though I get my flu vaccine every year.  Christian never gets it, and rarely gets sick so, of course, this lead to many discussions on preventative measures that may or may not also be harmful. I can foresee many discussions regarding el chicharito's wellbeing in the future!  One thing I know for sure, Christian is a great caretaker.  He made this amazing chicken-lime-chipotle soup that was magical.  He was very nurturing and I am lucky to have him:)

In other news, we had our anatomy ultrasound on Weds (more Pics to come soon).  It was the first time Chris had seen our baby move in real time.  He couldn't stay seated!  He was overwhelmed.  He told me at lunch afterwards that it suddenly made it "real".  He then went straight to Barnes and Noble to purchase a book on being a new father.  I was giddy with excitement at seeing all the movements I have been feeling.  Everything looked compeletely "normal".  We had the ultrasonographer write down the sex for us and we put it in a sealed envelope, to be opened at a later date.  While we have been acting all along as though we were having a boy, suddenly we were aware that it's possible that we are carrying a little girl.  We shall see!!  Stay tuned!

Holy Stroller

We recently joined a neighborhood list serve which is really awesome. We have scored a free breast pump, maternity clothes, cheap diapers AND we have met a lot of great families.  Our most recent purchase is a barely used Britax Stroller.  It's very much like the Vista we were considering buying, but a little bit lighter, and with more possible configurations.  It comes with a detachable second seat (the lady kept saying "for your second kid", yeah right).We're excited to double stroll with our nephew Kohner or future friends.  We can make it a travel system by putting a car seat in it.   We saved like $300.  Woohoo! Christian was so excited he took pictures and then immediately wanted to practice walking it around.

In other news, I'm definitely feeling some movement in my lower belly.  Sometimes it feels like bubbles, sometimes thumps.  It makes me smile every time. 

Other, less exciting pregnancy symptoms we are dealing with: rapid weight gain (a lot of it in my chest), acne (more than in my teen years), RIDICULOUS gas, foggy head and forgetfulness, constant hunger, sleepiness, snappy mood (poor Chris), lower back pain.  But other than that, I feel great!  I didn't realize I had a waddle, but sometimes after sitting for long periods my lower back gets really tight and it takes me a minute to walk right.  

Coworker: Why are you walking like that?

Me: Like what?

Coworker: Like you're pregnant or something.

Me: Because I'm pregnant...

Coworker: OH MY GOD!  HOW CUTE!  CONGRATULATIONS!!

I guess she thought I was just eating too much.   

A Visit From Family

This week baby Malvaez was lucky enough to get a visit from Aunt Sara. She even talked to Chicharito, whispering to my belly "Are you a Girl?  I want a Niece!".  Lots of belly rubbing which was so gentle and sweet.  While I haven't felt anything yet that I'm sure is baby movement, I know that the little one was happy to get some attention from Aunt Sara, Dad and Teresa.  

Here we are at the Museum of Natural History being scary Dinos:

In addition to walking around the city (which is exhausting!), Teresa and I had a little sewing project.  She was able to cut up the pants I can no longer button and put a maternity panel on them.  It's awesome!  It has tripled my maternity wardrobe and saved me possibly hundreds of dollars!!  I couldn't be more comfortable.  Thanks Teresa and Aunt Stephanie for the sewing machine loan!

Yes, that bump continues to get BIGGER, no doubt helped by three straight days of eating out.  Whoa.  

So, we've been getting a lot of questions about baby names.  We have narrowed down a few, but still haven't agreed on any for sure.  We are having an easier time with girl names than boy names.  I talked to Papa about it today.  He suggested "Charles", which is also my uncle's name!  We like the idea of family names, however, there is a serious lack of boy names that sound good in English and Spanish.  BTW, Charles in Spanish is Carlos.  John in Spanish is Juan.  Andrew in Spanish is Andres. There seem to be no equivalents for Kyle or Duane.  Edwin in Spanish...well, let's not.  Sara had suggestions but only for nieces.  They were Samantha, Christine and Jean.  I thought those were really nice names.  Keep those suggestions coming.  

Yes, we are finding out the sex, but not until Mid-October.  Stay tuned!

A Walk in Fort Tryon

We enjoyed the slightly lowered temps on Weds. by walking around the park.  All is good.  We are looking forward to taking down our air conditioners and using more scarves and sweaters.  Fall is good for pregnant people!!

So Much to Look Forward To

This week has been rough.  And it's only Tuesday.  On the bright side, I've become strangely attached to my pregnancy symptoms (hunger, sleeplessness, frequent urination).  They remind me that I have something developing that is going to change our lives forever.  I can't help but get excited between bouts of panic and exhaustion.

We are anxiously awaiting feeling the first movements.  Christian talks to my belly every night which makes me giggle uncontrollably.  One, because it feels ridiculous.  Two, because it physically tickles.  And Three, because he says the craziest stuff.  But BabyCenter has assured me that our baby now has ear bones (crazy tiny!) and can hear him.  I hope the baby has Christian's sense of humor!!

This is my friend Tara who is 28 weeks pregnant with twin girls. Doesn't she look great?!  I wish every pregnant woman had a friend like Tara in the neighborhood.  It is so great to have someone complain to!  Not to mention eat and laugh with.  Wishing her the best of everything in the rest of her pregnancy and when she welcomes her little chickadees.

 

Week 15

This week Christian got really into preparation.  We started to research strollers, even went so far as to test them out at BuyBuyBaby.

The UppaBaby Vista got good reviews, and Christian really liked it, but it was too heavy for me. 

Currently we are leaning towards the UppaBaby Cruz.   

It feels too soon and too crazy to be stroller shopping. (Who am I anymore?!)

We spent all day cleaning out drawers and closets for the anticipated influx of baby necessities.  We still have a lot of purging to do, but it felt good.  I emptied half of my dresser for baby clothes.  Lucky kid. 

More belly shots to come.  If I'm as huge as I feel they will be something to look at!