Yesterday Christian and I had our first Childbirth Class. It was the first of an 8-weeks series in The Bradley Method. Though not a believer in "methods" of birthing, myself, I was very eager to attend a birthing class. This was a way of bringing Christian into my world and giving him a part of the birthing experience he can master. I had many fears of him feeling helpless/uninvolved/unwanted/confused during the birth of our daughter. I felt that the Bradley Method would give him tools to help relax me and to keep him calm as well as learn about specific challenges faced by women who birth in US hospitals. The class is taught by Gillian Foreman of Uptown Birth, a trained doula with her own interesting birth stories and experiences. I was a bit nervous that the philosophies of the class and instructor would not be in line with my own, but I went in with an open mind. For the most part I was very pleased with the first class.
One of the best parts of the class was when Gillian had us go to different sides of the room depending on if we were seeing an OB or a Midwife. To my surprise Christian and I were the only couple on the Midwife side. When asked why we chose a midwife I was hesitant to "out myself". I was pleasantly shocked when my amazing husband looked at me proudly and said "Because She's a Midwife and I know she is experienced and safe and cares. I trust Midwives.". I teared up in front of all of those strangers. It was one of the proudest moments of my marriage to this day. I feel extremely blessed to have a supportive husband who "gets it" and who believes in me and what I do. Had I been forced to answer the same question myself I would have been less eloquent: "Because I'm low risk. Because it's a no-brainer. Because I don't want unnecessary intervention." But in a nutshell, it's because I trust Midwives too.
In other news, the smoke smell in our apartment has definitely decreased. HOORAY! It's been about a week since we've smelled anything! Our super and Landlord have also been very pro-active and are happy that we are staying in the building. It's nice to have them on our side.
Many people have been asking about our Thanksgiving. Since we are both working too much it was kind of a non-event, a quick reprieve from the daily grind. We both had to go back to work Friday and Sat. We were lucky enough to briefly see our friend Heather Donaldson, a Midwife in Pennsylvania whom I've known since my Columbia days. It was only a quick breakfast date but nice.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
What's in a name?
Christian and I had a girl's name picked out almost immediately after we found out we were pregnant. But, we were sure we were having a boy! Anyway, when we found out we were having a girl we immediately started calling her by the name we picked out months prior. Though we haven't seen her on the outside yet, we know it fits her perfectly. We had expected to wait until after she was born to announce her name, but we've given up on that. We love her name and are happy to share it.
Sara: after my amazing, loving sister. We hope she inherits her fun-loving attitude, her friendliness and openness, and her giggle:) She's already a dancer like her aunt, hopefully without the self-injury! Since it's confusing to have the same name as someone else in your family, she'll go by her middle name.
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Rocio (pronounced ro-SEE-yo, extra points if you can roll your RRRs): after Christian's mom. Sadly, I haven't met her. But she raised an amazing son. In Spanish it means "dew". The nickname for Rocio is Chio. We've been calling her Chio since we found out we were having a girl.
This is a little art project Christian and I did last night. This is above where her Co-sleeper will be. It gives off a nice, soft light for late-night feeding and diaper changing. Also, we just think it looks cool.
So, we had quite a bit of discussion on Hawaiian names. It seems somewhat odd to me that my daughter won't have a Hawaiian name. Her family will most likely give her one unofficially. Dew in Hawaiian is "hau". Not too pretty. The Hawaiian equivalent of Sara is Kala. I like that better. We'll see.
Here are some songs about our daughter (or my mother-in-law?). They basically talk about how amazingly beautiful she is. Yeah, obviously!
Flamenco
Cumbia
Sara Rocio Malvaez
Sara: after my amazing, loving sister. We hope she inherits her fun-loving attitude, her friendliness and openness, and her giggle:) She's already a dancer like her aunt, hopefully without the self-injury! Since it's confusing to have the same name as someone else in your family, she'll go by her middle name.
My Beautiful Sister
Sara, the original, totally owning it on the dance floor.
Rocio (pronounced ro-SEE-yo, extra points if you can roll your RRRs): after Christian's mom. Sadly, I haven't met her. But she raised an amazing son. In Spanish it means "dew". The nickname for Rocio is Chio. We've been calling her Chio since we found out we were having a girl.
So, we had quite a bit of discussion on Hawaiian names. It seems somewhat odd to me that my daughter won't have a Hawaiian name. Her family will most likely give her one unofficially. Dew in Hawaiian is "hau". Not too pretty. The Hawaiian equivalent of Sara is Kala. I like that better. We'll see.
Here are some songs about our daughter (or my mother-in-law?). They basically talk about how amazingly beautiful she is. Yeah, obviously!
Flamenco
Cumbia
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Spacious apartment, great neighborhood, no fee, cheap rent, laundry and elevator, nanny included! (Yeah, right. I wish.)
Anyone who has spoken with me recently has heard my "We're MOVING!" rant (who am I kidding? I've been saying that since I landed in NYC!). The most recent rant was sparked by the second-hand cigarette smoke invading our bedroom over the past couple weeks. Yuck!! We've kept windows open, borrowed an air filter, complained to our super and landlord, and have had many failed attempts at speaking with our neighbors about it. We even found an apartment (huge!lovely!affordable!), applied, and were accepted only to find out that it would cost us thousands of dollars and more than a few headaches to break our iron-clad lease 6 months early. Not good news for the growing family concerned about the infant's health.
My valiant husband made a fifth (!) attempt to speak with our inconsiderate upstairs neighbors early this morning. Imagine our surprise when we found out that he was a really nice guy who only occasionally smokes outside his kitchen window. What!? The neighbors to each side of us are known to us for three years and have never been smokers. The downstairs neighbor also denies smoking. What's a non-smoking, low-earning family to do?
This has prompted numerous Google searches: sealing your windows, the best air filter/purifier for smokers, getting out of your NYC lease. In the end we have decided to save our hard-earned money and not move, but have invested in a MEGA air filter/purifier with excellent reviews on multiple sites. Please, cross your fingers for us. I don't want to be seen in the Metro with the headline "Pregnant Midwife Goes Ape-Shit on Innocent Non-Smoking Neighbors. Loses Chance of Ever Having Good Credit, Nice Apartment Again".
My valiant husband made a fifth (!) attempt to speak with our inconsiderate upstairs neighbors early this morning. Imagine our surprise when we found out that he was a really nice guy who only occasionally smokes outside his kitchen window. What!? The neighbors to each side of us are known to us for three years and have never been smokers. The downstairs neighbor also denies smoking. What's a non-smoking, low-earning family to do?
This has prompted numerous Google searches: sealing your windows, the best air filter/purifier for smokers, getting out of your NYC lease. In the end we have decided to save our hard-earned money and not move, but have invested in a MEGA air filter/purifier with excellent reviews on multiple sites. Please, cross your fingers for us. I don't want to be seen in the Metro with the headline "Pregnant Midwife Goes Ape-Shit on Innocent Non-Smoking Neighbors. Loses Chance of Ever Having Good Credit, Nice Apartment Again".
Friday, November 16, 2012
Being a pregnant midwife
Early in my pregnancy a good friend told me "Don't be the Pregnant Midwife, just be Jenn: Pregnant". I appreciated the sentiment behind her advice. Basically she was telling me not to stress the idealistic view of pregnancy and birth that I had created by reading too much Ina May and watching too many Russian waterbirth videos. She was telling me just to experience it on my own and be open to what it teaches me. That being said, it is a very unique situation to be pregnant in my profession. As another friend once put it, it's like the ultimate internship.
The Cons of being a pregnant midwife:
1) Increased sense of smell/gag reflex. Let's face it, my job has a lot of fluids and other things that would induce vomiting in the average Jane. To a certain point I had become desensitized. However, pregnancy just intensifies every scent. Ew.
2) Knowing too much. I've seen A LOT in my brief time in the Bronx. Things that I wasn't warned about in school. Things that I can't even explain to a lay person. Things that just shouldn't be in your head during the "happiest time of your life". It did bring me quite a bit of anxiety in the beginning of pregnancy, and I imagine will give me pause in my later months. The plus side of this is learning how to deal with anxieties as they come up, a practice in living in the moment.
3) Lack of sleep/Pregnancy brain makes me ineffective at work. There are certain nights that I'm up a hundred times for no reason. There are also days that, no matter how much sleep I've had, I just don't seem to be able to concentrate. This makes me slow at work and I often feel as though I'm missing details. Not a good combination at my job. Luckily, I have a great and understanding team. More on that later.
4) Getting light headed/dizzy when pushing with a patient. More than once I've had to sit during second stage and ask a resident or attending to stand by. My worst fear is falling face-first into someone's vagina because I fainted during pushing. This has taught me a lot though. I can ask for help. I need to breathe while the patient is pushing. I need to wait to put on the gown until the head is crowning, otherwise I get WAY too hot. Also, probably not a good idea to put my face at perineum level if I'm not feeling well. I'll just keep the bed unbroken, thanks.
5) Hunger kills. I cannot work long clinic or floor shifts without a bevy of snacks at the ready or I become a grouchy, incoherent fool. When the little girl is hungry I cannot put anyone else's needs ahead of hers, I MUST EAT. This is not a con so much, just an inconvenience. Gone are the days when I would work straight through my morning panel and into the afternoon and finish by five with all of my charts and billing done. Now I must eat breakfast upon arrival at the hospital (even though I ate at home), snack by 11, meal at 1, another snack at 3 and munch on something while I'm finishing up notes. Makes for a longer, slower day.
6) Assumption that it's easy for me just because I know a lot. Wrong. Pregnancy is still really, really weird to go through. Christian and I have had to have more than one discussion on why we should go to childbirth classes. Being a midwife doesn't make me magical. I still have to push this baby out like the rest of my patients and that is not something I have done before. That being said, I realize that most of it is instinct. Now if I could only turn off my brain...
The Pros of being a pregnant midwife:
1) Knowledge of easy relief for common discomforts. Kegels, my friend, are vital. I know that the pain on my side is common and not dangerous. I know that the having to pee every five minutes will return in the third trimester. I know which medications I can safely take without having to wait for my next appointment. This makes me feel more at-ease than I imagine I would be had I not studied pregnancy.
2) Amazing coworkers!! They are kind, sympathetic and experienced. Many are wise mothers themselves. I'm rarely allowed to lift things or stand too long at work. They are ridiculously excited about my expanding belly. They make me laugh. They make helpful suggestions. Nothing I say to them about my pregnancy symptoms or anxieties is weird. They ease my heavy load. I am eternally grateful to them.
3) Access to dopplers/sonos. Now, I don't make use of this one often, but I'll be honest: when especially concerned about Chio's well-being it is nice to be able to hear her heartbeat. It is less necessary now that I feel her moving, but in the first trimester I will admit to taking a listen. It was probably partly just to reinforce that I was really pregnant, not just psychosematically so. Christian and I made a pact that I would not find out the gender without him, but had I wanted to, I know my friends in sono would have hooked me up. I know more than one pregnant lady that would kill for access to this convenience. However, being a midwife also makes me cautious about overuse of sonos, so I didn't go nuts.
4) The Patients!! They are thrilled to share my pregnancy with me. They love hearing that I have the same symptoms they do. They all wanna know where I'm delivering, what the gender is, is my husband excited, how long I will work. They rub my belly and squeal like the rest of my friends. They tell me details and ask me intimate questions that they probably wouldn't ask if they didn't see me as "one of them". I finally have street cred! In addition, they are teaching me soooo much.
5) Freebies: from floradix to bio oil. I went to the ACNM conference at the perfect time!
6) Easy access to the latest research/journals and multiple medical opinions. I work with a lot of really intelligent people. Whoa.
So, there's a little glimpse into all the things that have been on my mind lately. I have to go eat now.
The Cons of being a pregnant midwife:
1) Increased sense of smell/gag reflex. Let's face it, my job has a lot of fluids and other things that would induce vomiting in the average Jane. To a certain point I had become desensitized. However, pregnancy just intensifies every scent. Ew.
2) Knowing too much. I've seen A LOT in my brief time in the Bronx. Things that I wasn't warned about in school. Things that I can't even explain to a lay person. Things that just shouldn't be in your head during the "happiest time of your life". It did bring me quite a bit of anxiety in the beginning of pregnancy, and I imagine will give me pause in my later months. The plus side of this is learning how to deal with anxieties as they come up, a practice in living in the moment.
3) Lack of sleep/Pregnancy brain makes me ineffective at work. There are certain nights that I'm up a hundred times for no reason. There are also days that, no matter how much sleep I've had, I just don't seem to be able to concentrate. This makes me slow at work and I often feel as though I'm missing details. Not a good combination at my job. Luckily, I have a great and understanding team. More on that later.
4) Getting light headed/dizzy when pushing with a patient. More than once I've had to sit during second stage and ask a resident or attending to stand by. My worst fear is falling face-first into someone's vagina because I fainted during pushing. This has taught me a lot though. I can ask for help. I need to breathe while the patient is pushing. I need to wait to put on the gown until the head is crowning, otherwise I get WAY too hot. Also, probably not a good idea to put my face at perineum level if I'm not feeling well. I'll just keep the bed unbroken, thanks.
5) Hunger kills. I cannot work long clinic or floor shifts without a bevy of snacks at the ready or I become a grouchy, incoherent fool. When the little girl is hungry I cannot put anyone else's needs ahead of hers, I MUST EAT. This is not a con so much, just an inconvenience. Gone are the days when I would work straight through my morning panel and into the afternoon and finish by five with all of my charts and billing done. Now I must eat breakfast upon arrival at the hospital (even though I ate at home), snack by 11, meal at 1, another snack at 3 and munch on something while I'm finishing up notes. Makes for a longer, slower day.
6) Assumption that it's easy for me just because I know a lot. Wrong. Pregnancy is still really, really weird to go through. Christian and I have had to have more than one discussion on why we should go to childbirth classes. Being a midwife doesn't make me magical. I still have to push this baby out like the rest of my patients and that is not something I have done before. That being said, I realize that most of it is instinct. Now if I could only turn off my brain...
The Pros of being a pregnant midwife:
1) Knowledge of easy relief for common discomforts. Kegels, my friend, are vital. I know that the pain on my side is common and not dangerous. I know that the having to pee every five minutes will return in the third trimester. I know which medications I can safely take without having to wait for my next appointment. This makes me feel more at-ease than I imagine I would be had I not studied pregnancy.
2) Amazing coworkers!! They are kind, sympathetic and experienced. Many are wise mothers themselves. I'm rarely allowed to lift things or stand too long at work. They are ridiculously excited about my expanding belly. They make me laugh. They make helpful suggestions. Nothing I say to them about my pregnancy symptoms or anxieties is weird. They ease my heavy load. I am eternally grateful to them.
3) Access to dopplers/sonos. Now, I don't make use of this one often, but I'll be honest: when especially concerned about Chio's well-being it is nice to be able to hear her heartbeat. It is less necessary now that I feel her moving, but in the first trimester I will admit to taking a listen. It was probably partly just to reinforce that I was really pregnant, not just psychosematically so. Christian and I made a pact that I would not find out the gender without him, but had I wanted to, I know my friends in sono would have hooked me up. I know more than one pregnant lady that would kill for access to this convenience. However, being a midwife also makes me cautious about overuse of sonos, so I didn't go nuts.
4) The Patients!! They are thrilled to share my pregnancy with me. They love hearing that I have the same symptoms they do. They all wanna know where I'm delivering, what the gender is, is my husband excited, how long I will work. They rub my belly and squeal like the rest of my friends. They tell me details and ask me intimate questions that they probably wouldn't ask if they didn't see me as "one of them". I finally have street cred! In addition, they are teaching me soooo much.
5) Freebies: from floradix to bio oil. I went to the ACNM conference at the perfect time!
6) Easy access to the latest research/journals and multiple medical opinions. I work with a lot of really intelligent people. Whoa.
So, there's a little glimpse into all the things that have been on my mind lately. I have to go eat now.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Oh My...
On Tuesday I met with the Midwife Jocelyn. She complimented my belly which was really nice:) We talked about so many helpful things like stress management, birthing classes, nutrition, the Holidays, partner relationships and the postpartum period. And, of course, it's nice to talk with someone at length about the particular stresses of my job. Yes, I like my Midwives a lot and I am really beginning to understand what actual holistic care feels like.
I'm really anxious to find out the results of my glucose testing. I don't know why I think I'll have a problem, it's just that gestational diabetes is such a DRAG! Now I'm off to the High Risk Clinic to talk to some Gestational Diabetics! I hope I can bring the compassion to our visit that my Midwives bring to mine.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
I would have preferred jelly beans.
Quest: you and me. Let's do this.
And if anyone out there has ever wondered what NOT to have on an empty stomach:75 g of glucose with orange flavor and dye would be my first answer.
I always feel bad for my patients when taking this test, but the quantity of super sweet liquid they are asked to drink is much less, and they don't have to fast prior. I will continue to lovingly tell them to suck.it.up.
And if anyone out there has ever wondered what NOT to have on an empty stomach:75 g of glucose with orange flavor and dye would be my first answer.
I always feel bad for my patients when taking this test, but the quantity of super sweet liquid they are asked to drink is much less, and they don't have to fast prior. I will continue to lovingly tell them to suck.it.up.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Still grateful
Happy to report that Chris is back to work today with lights. A full three days ahead of schedule and no flooding. In addition, our friends' twins are coming home tomorrow. So excited that all of our loved ones will be out of the hospital for the first time in months! Well, except the ones that work there...
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