Best feeling in the world

Lessons learned by Day 6

Daytime TV is evil, aimed and making you feel fat and/or that you need to buy something.
Breastfeeding is far more complicated than people think and I SHOULD be getting paid by the hour.
It is not a good idea to decide to boil things at 1 am when you've had maybe 3 hours of sleep in the past 24.
It is not a good idea to try to count the number of hours you've slept in the past 24.  It's depressing and impossible to remember.
Husbands/Fathers/Partners need more sleep than Mothers or they become absolutely useless.  I'm sure there is a biological basis that I am too tired to dig up.  Just take it as one of those unfair facts of life.

Chio's first visitors, so much love!

Tara was so sweet, she organized all of Chio's clothes for us!  

Steven did our dishes and plotted Chio, Willow and Simone's Soccer careers with Christian. 

Michelle brought taco soup!

Abbe, Hallie and Jenna brought finger foods and goodies from my work shower (which I missed!).  Abbe told the stories of Hallie and Jenna's homebirths and calmed my fears about being a bad mother.  Priceless.   

Sharwon got to cuddle for nearly two hours after I breastfed!  She also made a drug store stop for us.  

Melissa brought us celebratory wine and lots of breastfeeding wisdom. 

We feel so blessed.  

Day 5

We are happily finding our groove over here.  Chio is now nursing approximately every 3 hours.  Christian and I take turns napping.  The constant flow of food from friends has helped tremendously and we are eating well!  It's lovely.  We've had one or two visitors a day which has been nice.  Especially since they remind me about what is normal and they help to keep me calm.

Here are some pictures from our first pediatrician visit.  We had planned to use the sling to carry Chio, but in the end Christian didn't trust that she was comfortable so he decided that he wanted to just carry her in his arms for the short bus ride.  It was touching to see him rock the pink blanket and how many people were eager to give up their seat for him.

The pediatrician was impressed that Chio was feeding so well, had NO sign of jaundice, and has already gained 5 ounces since birth.  My little girl is already 7 lbs!  She already has yellow poops!  She didn't scream at the doctor!  I'm so impressed by this new person...

Cuteness

Breastfeeding

Is a messy, noisy, sometimes painful affair. I love it, but it's not at all easy or simple. Thank god I have so much support!  Chris hands me a glass of water and a snack each time she goes to the breast. It makes such a difference!

This is my breastfeeding station:



Milky Face:

MY birth

My birth story is not poetic.  It would NOT be featured in an Ina May book with pictures of me blissed-out and kissing my bearded husband.  It MAY, however, be included in a bloopers reel of some sort. The whole thing was hilarious.  Kind of a "best laid plans" sort of deal.

But to be honest....it was really scary while I was going through it.

The short version:
Contractions start.
Coping at home went well for about the first 30 minutes.
Trying to call in the planned reinforcements.  All were either sick or scheduled to work.
Decided with Christian that we were prepared. We could DO this.
Christian called midwife.  I argued with her about coming in.  I was scared.
Longest cab ride of my life.
Freak out/hiding/vomiting in triage bathroom.
Crying to nurse about how much it hurt.
Checked by midwife.
Lots of cursing.
One squat.
Broken water, obvious meconium staining.
All fours on stretcher.
Lots of cursing!
Three pushes and...
I'M A MOM.

Whoa.

I still get shaky thinking about it.  Talking about it makes me shake and cry and laugh.

In the last few days I have heard a lot of cheering.  Friends have told me they are proud of me, that I did a good job, that I should feel empowered.  They are all well-intentioned and I appreciate their kind words, but in a weird way it makes me cringe.  The overall feeling I get from the experience isn't PRIDE.  I feel HUMBLED.

I'm amazed at what women endure.  I'm amazed that all this time working as a midwife I thought I knew what was up.

I am apparently genetically wired to have a quick birth.  The real stories to be in awe of come from women that labor for days on end, or even the average 24. That find their voices or don't.  That give birth naturally or with the help of an epidural or a skilled surgeon.  That wanted to be pregnant or didn't plan to be.  The teens, the AMAs, the average-aged the normal or elevated BMI's, the inductions, the diabetics, the drive-bys, the "not coping well"s, the recent immigrants, the BRONX-bred, the Bambara speaking, the primps, the grand multips, the straight-forward, the transfers from the birth center...the women I work with every day, yes, even the whiny entitled ones and bossy obnoxious ones, ALL WOMEN,  they are absolutely my heroes.  I am cheering for them.  I will never be the same.

The day before Chio was born

(postdated)

Our friend Simone talking to my belly, trying to convince Chio that it's better on the outside.  She listened promptly!!

Last weekend of pregnancy

(Postdated)

I didn't know it yet, but on our last weekend of pregnancy Christian and I took an escape to Connecticut.  We rented a car, took our time on the drive.  We stayed in a hotel, ate, slept, swam in the pool, watched movies and cuddled. We didn't take that many pictures, but here I am right before wading in the pool:

Also, a word about my hair: I took the chance to simplify my life by cutting my hair that weekend.  I had enough to donate to Locks of Love.  It's a little shorter than I'd like, but not for long!  Also, it feels good that my hair will go to someone who NEEDS to feel more attractive.  I get that.  

Chio's afternoon dance session

Things I wish I could register for

Clean house with food ready when we arrive from hospital
Someone to fetch things while I lay in bed staring at my beautiful baby
Someone to write Thank You cards for me
Someone to answer the door for me if the bell rings
Quiet neighbors
Photographer for documentation of all the precious moments
Organizer of Chio's clothes (I have run out of room at this point.  The girl has more clothes than I know what to do with!)
Someone to anticipate when I will have a breakdown and help me breathe, talk through it
Someone to pee for me

(I know that Christian will do many of these things (except pee for me) but it doesn't seem fair.  He only gets two weeks off.  I want him to be able to spend every moment getting to know her instead of running around.)

This is kinda what I have in mind for her first two weeks with us:

Idealistic, I realize.  But shouldn't we all take the time to honor bringing a new person into the world by just marveling and reveling?  Shouldn't that be a given?

Feeling Better!

I'm coughing much less.  Still have a runny nose, but things are much improved and I'm actually sleeping better.  Today was already scheduled as a day off for me so I'm at home taking it really easy.  I do have an appointment with my midwives today. Can't wait to show them my swollen feet:)

In other news, tomorrow is Valentine's Day (you probably already knew that!).  I have to get Christian's gift today.  What do you get your Husband of three years, Father to your yet-to-be-born, master comforter, amazing support, FAVORITE PERSON EVER?  Why, a NINJA of course (he's been talking about it for ages)!!!  After everything he's seen me through in the past few weeks/months/years, it just doesn't seem like enough.  It'll have to do.  Maybe I'll hand-make the card.

GD cough

Hey all.  I am writing to you from Christian's computer as mine is on its last legs:(  The weekend brought much excitement.  First, clinic closed early Friday.  This was a blessing as my sinus ailment had made its way to my throat and I had a cough starting.  Chris and I slept through the storm and I was more than pleased to be able to stay in bed all day Saturday, skipping the snow drama.  Unfortunately, the day in bed just frustrated me, did not get rid of my cough as I had hoped.

When I woke up Sunday am I was determined to be proactive.  2 minutes of research later I had the numbers to 5 acupuncturists in my neighborhood (I love NYC!).  In 2 more minutes I had a same-day appointment.  Chris asked if I wanted him to come with me, but I figured I could handle it.  Maybe one day I will rewrite this story with more humor.  As it stands, it was pretty effing funny.

Upon arriving to the acupuncturist clinic I had a thorough evaluation including questions about my symptoms, a review of systems, taking of multiple pulses, tongue review, and a listen to my lungs.   The whole staff was looking me up and down, wondering about my pregnancy. The Dr. recommended some dietary changes for the cough, knew I wasn't interested in herbs.  I found it interesting that after finding out that I was having a girl he needed to check my pulses again.  He asked me three times if I'd been having palpitations.  After all that, we were ready for the main attraction. 

I was escorted by an assistant to the room where I was to get my needles, and I was to take my pants and socks off.  I covered with a towel.  Now, I've had acupuncture before.  I was not nervous about the needles.  They are uncomfortable, at times, but do not hurt. I was not nervous. 

I had various needles placed by the doctor.  I had them in my face, forehead, hands, elbows, knees and one in my chest.  It was all done quickly, efficiently and I was not in pain. 

Here's where it goes bad.  The Doctor explained that he was putting a heating lamp over my hands for 20 minutes and would be back after that.   Now remember that I was not nervous, nor was I in pain.  However, something started to come over me about 3 minutes after he left the room.  I got hot, yes, but it was more than that. I felt a rush come over me up towards my head.  I felt Chio trying to climb up into my ribs as though to hide.  I got sweaty, shaky and upset. I started calling out for help.  Unheard after three tries I decided to get up off the table and get someone.  Halfway up off the table I lost my breakfast, orange juice and all, all over myself.  Violent, projectile vomiting, repeatedly over ten minutes. 

I felt immediately better.

But I  knew I couldn't just sit there in it until they came back. 

Imagine a half-naked pregnant lady, needles hanging off her face, with puke all over herself waddling out into the waiting room of some very polite, very shocked, Chinese medical providers.  Just picture it!! It's kinda hard not to laugh, right?

The Dr. removed the needles so fast, helped me to lay down, cleaned me up.  I called Christian to bring me some clothes, thank god he had stayed home.  He brought me my toothbrush too, the dream boat. 

Needless to say, they did not charge me:) 

However, still coughing this morning I saw my regular MD as a walk-in and was quickly prescribed antibiotics. 

I'm looking forward to feeling better. 

PS:  My MD is shocked that I'm planning an unmedicated, vaginal birth.  OK, the vaginal part is what shocks her.  She said she wasn't really given the choice in her country and that she thought every educated woman would choose a primary C/S.  Um, I think not.  This could be a WHOLE other blog post.

Not much longer...

This week has been a little difficult.  I've been dealing with a sinus thing, followed by a cough.  Chio is certainly unphased, she's been dancing up a storm.  Actually, she's much lower than before as evidenced by my unmistakable waddle. In addition we have met with Dr. Moritz and have been signed off for a normal delivery with our midwives for whatever that is worth (duh, I know I'm healthy and low risk!).  Chio is currently estimated at 7lbs, though those sorts of things are soooooo subjective;)  I'm often a pound off on my estimations of others' fetal weights.  So what are your guesses?  Here's what I look like now at 37ish weeks:

I can't believe she's almost here!!

My push present!

Tonight Christian bought me (ok, the family) a fancy digital SLR. I can't wait to capture little toes and rolls and smiles with it!