Halloween

Super wholesome fun with good friends.  We spent about an hour at the mall.  They had terrible candy, but it was still really sweet to see all the little ones in costumes, getting the hang of trick-or-treating.  Xavi slept in the carrier the whole time. Chio thought the whole thing was a party for her and she loved meeting all the new people!  It was damn cute.

Chio does animal noises

XAVI at 1 week

First Appointment

unbelievable cuteness

Xavi's dramatic, yet mellow, entrance

Xavier Alexander Malvaez (pronounced Ha-vi-AIR, "HA-vi" for short)

Born 10/4/14 at 7:23 am

9lbs 8oz

21.5 inches long

Here's a rough run-through of how things happened: 

Chio was having trouble sleeping, so I nursed her a lot.  Around 4 am, we gave up and Christian took her to the living room to entertain her.  I went back to sleep thinking that my cramping (which I have been having for 4 weeks!) was just a result of her nursing and that it would go away.  I woke up at 6 and was still cramping.  I told Christian (still in the living room with a very awake Chio) that I was going to take a shower.  The shower felt great, but once over I realized that the cramps had returned and were harder to ignore.  I told Chris to call his sister because we had planned for her to take care of Chio while we were at the birth center.  Thinking that I seemed too comfortable to actually be in labor he suggested we wait an hour.  I had one more cramp and said "no, you should call her".  So he did.  Then he took a shower.  I tried to get dressed.   When Chris was out of the shower I told him to call the Midwives and let them know what was going on.  He did and we agreed to meet them at the Birth Center at 8am.  I remember looking at the clock and noticing the time was 7:13.  I called Kandi, my birth support, and told her to meet us at the Birth Center.  Then I felt a for real contraction and headed to the bathroom.  I barely made it there before a very dramatic pop of my bag of waters. I immediately yelled for Christian, told him the baby was coming.  Somehow, simultaneously, my amazing husband helped me to the bed and called the midwives to tell them to come to our house while he watched our son's head crown.  He was calm, steady, and basically the perfect birth-attendant.  Between contractions I talked him through the slow delivery of the head, and even had time to tell him how much I loved him and how happy I was we were doing this together.  Baby was out with 2 pushes.  We unwrapped him from his cord (around neck and body). He didn't cry initially.  I undressed and put him skin to skin with my chest to keep him warm.  I knew he was OK because he was pink, but we both wanted him to make more of an effort to breathe.  Christian and I made the decision to call 911 and I stimulated Xavi by drying him, patting him, talking to him and puffing bits of air into his mouth and nose.  He let out a little bit of a cry and I noticed he seemed to gain strength immediately. At this point Chio came into the bedroom with a cheerful "HI!" and climbed right up on the bed.  She kissed him and talked to him and it was pretty much the most amazing thing ever!

The paramedics arrived, but no longer had much to do.  They asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital and I said "no" knowing we were both healthy.  They agreed everything was normal, but were really eager to cut the cord.  At this point Xavi was gimacing, pink, breathing well and perfectly content searching for my breast. I told them to wait until the midwives arrived, which turned out to be only a minute or two later.  Christian sat behind me to keep me comfortable while I delivered the placenta.  The paramedics pretty much gawked in disbelief.  Christian's sister and Kandi all arrived shortly after.  Our bedroom was so crowded and joyful!

The rest of the day was a wonderful blur. So familiar in a way, but so unique from my experience with Chio.  Yes, it was a fast birth.  No, I hadn't planned for it to happen in my apartment.  Everyone who was most eager to be there was accidentally directed to the wrong location. He weighed far more than I would have believed, though my body surely felt it at the end.  It was amazing to take in our new family member in our own home, with his loving big sister present, without being "managed" by hospital staff or protocols.  I felt much more rested more quickly and am continuing to recover comfortably.  

We've had another amazing network of support dropping off food and offering to take care of Chio.  We are all sleeping well (amazingly) and eating often. We are so in love that everything has a peaceful and serene tone to it.  Even washing sheets!

Our Fun Fall Day Out

For Those Following Along at Home

I have also:
Eaten Dates
Eaten Spicy food
Eaten Pineapple.

At today's Midwifery appointment I declined a vaginal exam.  My midwives confirmed what I thought, that he's OP, so I'll be getting back to those Spinning Babies exercises.  We discussed various scenarios such as: a hands-off approach (would mean I would declines all vaginal exams and support my own perineum), in the tub or out of tub, Chris in or out of tub, cases in which I may need to transfer to the hospital, car seats, active or non-active management of 3rd stage, pushing with or without verbal encouragement.

I'll leave my preferences private for now.  I mostly just want to point out that I love getting midwifery care.  I feel extremely respected and supported.  It helps me to know in my final days of pregnancy that, no matter the course this labor takes, I will continue to be included in my plan of care and any decisions that are made about me or my baby.

Waiting on a Jeffery

I didn't keep up with this blog during my second pregnancy as I had hoped.  Maybe it was because I had a new job.  Maybe it was the business of keeping up with Chio.  Maybe I just didn't feel like every little thing about pregnancy this time around was magical and memorable and unique.  I just sort of expected and treated it as though it was exactly like the first time around.  Boy was that a mistake!

I keep having to remind myself that he's not yet overdue!  I had Chio at 39 weeks exactly.  So, of course, my mind said I'd have #2 at the same gestational age.  The tricky thing is my due date was changed 3 times before 20 weeks.  Adding to the confusion: preterm labor scare at 31 weeks (including hospital time and nifedipine), constant discomfort and baby measuring bigger than he should at various times throughout the pregnancy.  I keep hearing Gillian's voice "we are biology, not mathematics!".

So today I'm more pregnant than I've ever been, according to my final EDD of 9/30.  39 weeks and 1 day.  During my PTL scare I begged the birth goddess/my uterus to just hold on until his lungs were mature.  Maybe that's how I got this far along?  Or maybe I'm really only 38w1d as by my original EDD? Or maybe this little West Coast boy is just far more laid back than his NYC older sister (whose personality fits someone who just couldn't wait any longer to be out in the world).

In the past couple of weeks I have been all of the following (sometimes all at once): sure I was in labor, sure I would never go into labor naturally, excited about meeting him, heartbreakingly indifferent about adding another member to our family, nesting like mad, impossible to reason with, wishing for just a few more moments with my amazing daughter as my only child, unable to handle being with her for any stretch of time, at my limit, approaching a zen state of mind about the continuation of this pregnancy (of course never reaching zen!), questioning everything I thought I knew about pregnancy and birthing.

Here are the labor inducing recommendations/pre-labor projects I have completed:
baking (as per Birthing From Within)
walking (a special kind of torture)
birthing ball
Spinning baby exercises
"what gets the baby in"
nipple stimulation (hello toddler nursing!)
crying
ignoring contractions
organizing everything
blackberry picking
acupuncture
self-hypnosis/affirmations/visualization
talking to him
pleading with him
denial
anger
bargaining
grieving
(oh wait, the last few are a different list...)

I'm really trying not to worry about the fact that I've already "used up" 1.5 weeks of my maternity leave before his appearance.  Best laid plans, huh?  But really, it's been an incredible journey and learning experience.  More on that later.