4 month visit-rant alert

We had a pediatric well-baby visit yesterday.  We left feeling very un-well.

First, the good stuff: Chio is a full 16lbs6oz, and 25.5 inches long.  This puts her in the 90% for weight AND height (or length, you know what I mean). In addition, she is meeting all the milestones: lifts head, starting to roll, smiles, babbles, etc.  All signs were pointing to greatness, which we knew.  She is an amazing baby.

Then came the downer.  First, our pediatrician asked us if we were using the vitamin D supplements.  Well, Christian and I had been discussing it since recommended at our very first pediatric appointment. First of all she is exclusively breastfed.  (Fun fact: The vitamin D in breast milk is the most easily absorbed.  Also, she couldn't recommend a brand without sugar or dye and didn't bother to ask about my diet) Secondly, since I am not Vitamin D deficient I assume she was born with ample stores.  Thirdly, we don't live in a place that lacks sunlight.  She gets outside daily.  We felt confident that Chio was not at risk for vitamin D deficiency.  Our pediatrician interrupted me almost immediately when explaining our reasoning.  She stated that breast milk had NO vitamin D in it (WRONG).  Then she said it's also time to start iron supplements because breast milk has no iron in it (close, but still WRONG).  THEN she started telling us that we needed to put her on a feeding schedule, spacing her feedings (in fact she talked about distracting her when hungry) to every 3-4 hours because, and I quote "really what she's doing is snacking".  She finished this nonsensical rant with "that way she won't wake up so often at night and you can get some sleep".  After the last statement our jaws were on the floor.  I think she noticed because she then politely asked us how we were sleeping.  HELLO!  We sleep amazingly well.  We have bragged about it for a while now.  On average, she wakes up to feed once or twice a night which was our pediatrician's whole goal with this artificial "schedule". Why would someone try to give us advice on sleeping well before asking us how we're sleeping?  We didn't even approach our sleeping arrangement (in the bed) because I know she is against it and I am not willing to budge.

To further piss us off, while she was talking about a feeding schedule she was looking directly at me, even though we had already explained that I am back at work and that Christian is home with her during the day.  I kept pointing to him when she asked questions about bottles and ounces.  It was almost aggressive how she chose to completely ignore the fact that HE is the one that feeds her for most of the day.  It was like she couldn't shake her gender stereotypes.  Strange for a working mom, don't you think?

UGH.

Then Chio had to get shots.  She screamed, cried and then fell asleep for a couple hours.  When she woke up she was her happy self.  A low-grade fever through the night, but she is absolutely sunny this morning.  We are still unsure if we made the right decision to give her ALL the vaccines so young, but I am still a believer in some mainstream things, vaccines being one of them.

So what, you may ask, gives me the right to go against the Doctor's advice (my Grandmother would be horrified)?  Basically this: I am an expert in my child.  As is Christian.  Since before her birth Christian and I have practiced attachment parenting and we are the only ones she spends time with.  We are attentive, nurturing and in touch with our baby's needs.  Furthermore, one has only to look at her to know she is healthy and well cared for.  We may end up giving her supplements (once I check pros and cons), but a respectful approach to our particular situation and honest conversation would have been nice.  Not all families are the same!!  

I look forward to interviewing pediatricians in Olympia.  I look forward to being supported in my (completely healthy, rational, deeply-personal, and evidence-based) parenting decisions.   I may not be a perfect clinician myself, but I do see it as my job to support a mother's intuition in the way she approaches her self-care and that of her baby.  I do my best to avoid treating all patients the same, looking at their individual needs and circumstances.  I am looking for a pediatrician that practices this way too.