Waiting on a Jeffery

I didn't keep up with this blog during my second pregnancy as I had hoped.  Maybe it was because I had a new job.  Maybe it was the business of keeping up with Chio.  Maybe I just didn't feel like every little thing about pregnancy this time around was magical and memorable and unique.  I just sort of expected and treated it as though it was exactly like the first time around.  Boy was that a mistake!

I keep having to remind myself that he's not yet overdue!  I had Chio at 39 weeks exactly.  So, of course, my mind said I'd have #2 at the same gestational age.  The tricky thing is my due date was changed 3 times before 20 weeks.  Adding to the confusion: preterm labor scare at 31 weeks (including hospital time and nifedipine), constant discomfort and baby measuring bigger than he should at various times throughout the pregnancy.  I keep hearing Gillian's voice "we are biology, not mathematics!".

So today I'm more pregnant than I've ever been, according to my final EDD of 9/30.  39 weeks and 1 day.  During my PTL scare I begged the birth goddess/my uterus to just hold on until his lungs were mature.  Maybe that's how I got this far along?  Or maybe I'm really only 38w1d as by my original EDD? Or maybe this little West Coast boy is just far more laid back than his NYC older sister (whose personality fits someone who just couldn't wait any longer to be out in the world).

In the past couple of weeks I have been all of the following (sometimes all at once): sure I was in labor, sure I would never go into labor naturally, excited about meeting him, heartbreakingly indifferent about adding another member to our family, nesting like mad, impossible to reason with, wishing for just a few more moments with my amazing daughter as my only child, unable to handle being with her for any stretch of time, at my limit, approaching a zen state of mind about the continuation of this pregnancy (of course never reaching zen!), questioning everything I thought I knew about pregnancy and birthing.

Here are the labor inducing recommendations/pre-labor projects I have completed:
baking (as per Birthing From Within)
walking (a special kind of torture)
birthing ball
Spinning baby exercises
"what gets the baby in"
nipple stimulation (hello toddler nursing!)
crying
ignoring contractions
organizing everything
blackberry picking
acupuncture
self-hypnosis/affirmations/visualization
talking to him
pleading with him
denial
anger
bargaining
grieving
(oh wait, the last few are a different list...)

I'm really trying not to worry about the fact that I've already "used up" 1.5 weeks of my maternity leave before his appearance.  Best laid plans, huh?  But really, it's been an incredible journey and learning experience.  More on that later.